Externals

I Samuel 16:7
  "But the Lord said to Samuel, "Do not consider his appearance or height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.""

  Living as the offspring of the marriage of the spiritual and physical is burdensome. On the one hand we are souls that will live into eternity, but on the other hand we are trapped inside the skins that are going to die one day. Our identity comes not from our bodies, but from our spirits.
  The physical side of us takes so much of our time. We have to clothe our bodies and keep them clean. We have to feed them and maintain their health and strength. It is not hard to take care of these things though. We can see our bodies. If they are in need of something it is easy to tell. Often we spend so much time caring about the externals, we forget that they are only temporary.
  We also, as a general rule, see people before we get to know them, and their appearance tends to affect our perception of them. Then, we use our own appearance to manipulate other's opinions of us. Everyone know the girls who overdo it on their makeup or the guys who spend hours in the gym working on the external, but I think Christians spend just as much time on our externals as well. And we usually do it in an attempt to look more spiritual.
  Having grown up both in church and the homeschooled community, I have seen this a lot. At times, I was one of those good little homeschooled kids who dressed the right way. I wore my fair share of long skirts and WWJD bracelets. Though my parents never enforced this belief, I think in some ways the externals of my "more spiritual" peers made me think the way you dressed made you a better or worse Christian. There are plenty of girls who wear plain clothing because, "Appearances do not matter." Oh the irony. When you get a sense of faux-godliness from your apparel, you are missing the point.
  And I am not saying either primping or long skirts are wrong. I admittedly do both. It is just that our identity as Christians does not come from those things. We do not need to worry about putting our best face forward, we need to be Christ to people and forget about ourselves.

An Out of the Ordinary Adventure

  Yesterday was a first for me, as I went rescue my parents who were stranded in a parking lot with a dead car. It started out as a typical Monday night. I was babysitting and reading The Magician's Nephew to my little brothers before bedtime, and then the phone rang. One of my brothers went and got it then brought it to me. My dad was on the other end and he and my mom were stuck a Pet's Mart parking lot where the car's battery had ran out. Dad needed a new battery, some tools to put it in, and he needed my to bring it to him. So I gathered the necessary equipment and a brother then ran to the van. Digory and Polly were left in the Hall of Images and another brother was putting all the little kids in the house to bed.
  When I sat in the driver's seat of the van I rested my head on the wheel for a moment and prayed for speed and safety. Before going to save my parents I had to run by Auto Zone to pick up a new battery for the car. Here now is a testimony to scheming of auto-parts salesmen and my own feminine duplicity. My brother and I walked into the store and I asked for a battery for a 2002 Ford focus. The, uh, male human being asked what the motor size was and I blew then because I said I did not know and then I said was and emergency and really I just needed a battery fast. Do not ever tell someone who is trying to sell you something that it is an emergency and you need it fast.
  Well, I bought the battery he pulled off the rack and $150 later I was driving to Mom and Dad as fast as the law would allow (trust me, nobody wants to speed in a twelve passenger van). After passing Pet's Smart, driving the length of the shopping center it calls home, and doubling back around, I finally found my parents. Dad and my brother replaced the dead battery with the one I had been duped into buying and then we all went home. I got to bed by eleven and may or may not have vowed to studying auto mechanics. And so ended my adventure.

a tree.

 

 

  There used to be a tree. Not one of particular grandeur, but still a tree. Like most tallow trees, it attained a gnarled, useless shape and then was cut down because it was in the way. The stump rose a foot above the ground, a hunk of wood full of life and waiting to burst to forth in the right moment of time.

  So it grew again, sending up a ring of shoots around the edge of the trunk. The roots feeding those little green branches ran deep and the tree grew into a tangled mess, promising to become a piece of shrubbery of ridiculous proportions.

  It was cut down again come fall, but this time the tree was drilled, doused with oil, and burned black. The deep running roots died and the stump was nothing but a charred piece of lumber firmly planted in the ground. Fall passed and the rain of winter tumbled on the blackened earth. But before autumn ended, a seed had fallen at the base of the burnt stump.

  Then spring came: that time of year when the world wakes up again. Flowers that were cocooned the winter long broke out of their prisons. The seed that had been buried  now felt the golden warmth of the sun and sent out a slip of root. Then a little tree pushed up out of the earth. First one and then another set of leaves unfurled themselves. Life was born where a season ago life had died.

  Why do we lose our wide-eyed wonder? We grow up and try to fit the world in the confining space of comfort. We let the earth's orbit of the sun become little more then a dull monotony. The truth of the matter is that each year is a swirling ride of beauty and terror.
  Once we were small, once we were not afraid to dream things too big for our comprehension. Once the world was a wild to be tamed. Now we are grown-ups. We have forgotten the fairy-tales of old, forgotten the world is an adventure. In our false sense of maturity we deem ourselves too old to discover. We are afraid of being built up and broken down.
  Someday we will be forced to tear away the façade of maturity. We will have to be shattered. We will learn again what a beautiful and terrible place the world is outside of grown-up land.

What I did this Week: In Which I buy many things...

  This week has been really good. I wanted to start this post off with a verse we studied in church today.

Isaiah 40:25-26
  ""To whom will you compare me? Or who is my equal?" says the Holy One. Lift your eyes and look to the heavens; who created all these? He who brings out the starry hosts one by one, and calls them each by name. Because of His great power and mighty strength, not one of them is missing"

  God has no equal. Everything in existence is here because of His care alone. He is the one who puts the stars into place, who keeps them dancing their parts in the sky. He is the same God who loves and cares for us. That is a truly awe-inspiring thought.

  I feel like not a whole lot happened this past week, and that largely due to the fact that it rained so much.

  On Sunday afternoon I drew this doodle and I know what it is just like the rest of you, which means I have no clue what it is. I wanted to draw a bottle with a plant in it and then I needed a background and it all went from there.

 

 

Like I said before: it rained a lot. Here is a semi-decent picture of what it looked like outside for the majority of the week.

 

 

Wednesday I finished teaching the 4th-6th graders for the quarter. As you can see I have a very mature class.  

 

 

Thursday it was rainy again so I went to the book store with my brothers. As you can see I bought The Great Divorce by C.S. Lewis, one of my all time favorite authors, and The Confessions of Saint Augustine, which I am really excited about reading. I also bought a soundtrack with some Star Wars music and The Oath by Frank E. Perreti.

 

 

Friday I went and bought some fabric. The plaid is for me, the floral and white is for a baby dress.

 

 

And because the Forth of July is coming up I figured I should buy and Captain America shirt to wear for that day. And days after I am sure.

 

 

  And there is my week. 

 

 

 

When I Do Not Want to Love

  The more I study the Bible, the more I see that the church is to be bound by love in Christ. We as Christians are to be different from the world because we love one another unconditionally and forgive the wrongs done to us. The irony I have found is that I personally find Christians are often the hardest people to love and forgive. I should probably be ashamed to say that, but I would rather err on the side of honesty.
  Christ said that the greatest commandment is to love God with all of our being and to love our neighbors as ourselves. Because God has love me infinitely, I cannot help but want to love Him, even if it only be in my broken, human way. Loving people, on the other hand, is not overly appealing. People hurt me. This is where loving unbelievers can be easier then loving believers. Those who are not in Christ do not know what love really is. When I am injured by an unbeliever, it is not hard to shake off the pain. Oh, but when a believer hurts me, that is an offense I find hard to forgive.
  My first thought, even if the offense is unintentional (and it usually is), is, "Why would they do this to me? They are a Christian." Those wounds are the ones that pierce deep and bitter; they burn. I seem to enjoy picking at them, letting them fester into gaping furrows. For some sick reason I do not want them heal, I do not want to have to forgive. I put myself above God's command to love.
  Why do I do that? I am only hurting myself. As a child of God I am loved and forgiven. How can I not love and forgive? So there is the truth, any sweetness perceived in my nature comes from the grace of God alone, not from any goodness in me.

What I did this week

  I realize that I did not do one of these posts last week, but at least I am publishing this one on time.

  So I watched Nacho Libre for the first time on Sunday night. That is the most hilarious movie. I laughed so hard I may or may not be ashamed of myself.

  Monday night I had a soda tasting with my brothers, courtesy of my Maw-Maw, Paw-Paw, Uncle Randy, and Aunt Tonya.

 

 

  I saw these Ents in my backyard when I went running.

 

 

 

  My brother added a tarantula to our collection of animals.

 

 

  I baked some banana, chocolate-chip muffins.

 

 

And I leave you all with my all time favorite music video.

 

Until later...