It infects society, this depraved sense of good and evil humanity possesses. We excuse all or we excuse nothing. We offer no hope for the other side because in ourselves we cannot find it. We know there is goodness because of the sunrise, because of the light that burns in our hearts. And we know there is evil be the bitter night and the inky black that spills from the depths of our soul.
  And yet, in ourselves, there is nothing. We learn, as we grow, to excuse evil and condemn good. Apart from God's law we have no wisdom. Apart from the gospel we have no hope.
  It is the gospel that brings sense to life, that turns humanity's tradition on its head, that blows our misconceptions of good and evil our of the water. Apart from the wisdom of God there is no true knowledge to be had. No fence to show us liberty. No ground on which to stand.

Given to Ingratitude

 

Ingratitude. That is the word you are never supposed to say in relation to your feelings at this time of year. However, I always think I am entitled to a spirit of ingratitude at this time of year. Not because I do not like Thanksgiving. I love Thanksgiving. I do not like cold. On mornings like today, I am always reluctant to get out of bed because it is cold. Well, it is cold outside. In my room I bask in a balmy seventy degrees while lying in my warm bed bundled up in flannel pajamas and wool socks. And when I finally do crawl out of bed, I get to stumble into the kitchen where I can pour myself a cup of hot coffee and eat hot oatmeal.
  While going outside into the thirty-five degree weather is by no means pleasant. I certainly am not suffering inside. The burden of ingratitude I have shouldered is what makes life miserable, not my circumstances. I ought to be grateful for the cold, because if nothing else it amplifies the extent of the blessings God has given me.

What I did this week

  I haven't done one of these in a while, so better late than never right?

 

  Well, early on, I started reading Crime and Punishment and thus far it has pretty good. I would not say it is entertaining. For the most part it takes place in the head of a reluctant murderer, and it is fascinating. Even one who has hardened themselves to their crimes with logic and desperation still suffers the pangs of conscience. Sin hurts no matter what. And that's as far as I've gotten.

 

  Tuesday I went and bought Tenth Avenue North's new album, Cathedrals. I highly recommend it. They have proved they have not reached the level of stagnancy so many other bands do after so long as a band.

 

  It got cold this week, so we've built many fires.

 

  And I started a couture skirt which has been fun. I love high end sewing.

 

    And that was my week!





 

 

Season's First Fire

  Last night my Dad built the season's first fire in the fire place. To be honest though, this is the second fire of the season that my brother built this morning.

Sometimes God's Will Seems Wrong

God is too big for human understanding. His will exceeds my comprehension and I can never know the depths of His goodness.

  I believe God is good, I tell people that. And when life is going well, that is an easy thing to say and believe. But life is not bliss. Tragedy forces me to be honest with myself and with those around me. It forces me to come to grips with what I really believe about God. When I encounter pain, I naturally question God’s goodness. Why would He allow me to suffer if He loves me?

  The truth of the matter is that I do not understand what is good for me. Because I can only see through a glass darkly, I cannot see how the pain I now endure will grow me into the image of Christ. So while God’s will for my life may include more pain and heartache than I want, His will is still good. He uses this broken world to fulfill His purposes in ways my finite mind cannot grasp.

  God’s will may seem wrong to me at times. If He created this world, why does He allow it to become sick? Why is it dying?  Why do we get sick and die? In those questions I can give into my anger, or I can trust that God is doing something beautiful, and is making the world new again in His time. As someone said better than I ever could:

  “When things go wrong you ask yourself, “How can there be a good God?” I think doubt and faith are equally logical choices in the face of tragedy…Faith is to say, “Yes. The future will have pain, but there is a meaning and purpose deeper than that pain.” For me, that is my choice; to believe rather than doubt.”

-Jon Foreman

 

pain.

  We come here to suffer. If Christ had chosen for us the road of ease, far from this place would we run.
  If our happiness was all Christ desired for us, we would be living as fat, stupid, happy individuals. Our hearts would never break, our minds would never grow, we would never know the joy of coming to the end of ourselves and finding Christ alone can fulfill our soul's ache.
  Christ loves us too much to withhold the pain we so desperately need. Suffering is a part of the curse we have pulled on top of ourselves by our sin and the sins of our fathers. But Christ has transformed pain into a catalyst that draws us neared to Him. We grow by aches and pains.
  The sharp stab of suffering makes joy all the more sweet. We know much by the polarities given us.
  Though we make drown in our tears the night long, dawn will break and the world will be new and more beautiful for the pain we now know.

Play-Dough

  Today my Mom started her first round of chemo. That meant this morning I was in charge of running the house. I do not envy my Mom's job. Its hard work trying to school kids and keep the house semi-clean and make sure children get fed and stay out of trouble. This afternoon when she got back home, I made play-dough my smaller brothers to keep them a little quieter while Mom tried to rest. It was fun to relive my childhood for a window of time while I shaped colored dough into fantastic, diminutive creations.