Careful What You Pray For

  Sometimes, I ask God for things I do not really want. Things like contentment. During my second week at ALERT, I was asked to stay two weeks longer then I had planned to. Though I was looking forward to seeing my family again, I was also enjoying my time a ALERT and wanted to stay longer. I left the decision of whether or not I would stay up to my parents. After asking my parents if I could stay, I prayed for contentment. And I am sure I prayed an honest prayer, but I really wanted to stay at ALERT.

  When my parents called a couple days later and told me that they were going to pick me up when they had originally planned to, I was disappointed. I was not content. I did not want to be content. I sulked a little bit that day, I will admit. Then in the evening I went running with a friend. When we were done we walked out to the runway and laid down on it to look at the stars. As I watched the sparkle of a billion suns shining light-years away, I realized I was tired of being discontent. So I prayed for the same contentment I had asked the Lord for earlier, and He gave it to me.

  It really is almost funny, the way I do not want the things that are best for me. And I am not talking about whether or not I stayed up at ALERT, I'm talking about being content no matter where I am. At some point I have to let go of my selfish desires. The longer I hold onto them the longer they will hold me down. But when I let them go and give them to God, then I am free, and then I am content.