Something New

  I have hated dishes for many years. I will not try and soften that sentiment by saying I strongly disliked them. I hated doing the dishes and there is no way around that fact. In the past, I have written an ode to my hatred of dishes and said that people who claim they like washing dishes are liars. That was very immature of me.
  In spite of my hatred of dishes, I find myself doing them quite often. In my family, we siblings trade chores in the kitchen from week to week. One week, my responsibility will be to wipe off the table and counters; the next week I will be in charge of sweeping. And, of course, sooner than later, it will be my turn to wash the dishes. While I will do the dishes when it is my job, I will be sure to let everyone around me know that I am not enjoying the task before me.
  Last week, my turn to do dishes came around yet again. I decided, this time, that I would try something different. Lately, I have been convicted about complaining while I wash the dishes. Whining about dishes is not constructive, or uplifting, and it is definitely not godly. So last week, every time I went to the sink to wash the dishes, I kept my mouth shut. Complaining does take effort, and I figured I would put that effort into finishing my task.
  I also prayed. In retrospect, I could have prayed to find washing dishes enjoyable, but I did not. I just prayed that God would allow me to get the dishes done quickly and that He would control my mouth. God did both of those things. He also did more for me than just keep my mouth shut. By His grace, He helped me to see I genuinely have no reason to complain about doing the dishes. They are a part of life. While they may not be fun, they are certainly not awful. Then are plenty of far harder things I could be tasked with doing.
  I still dislike dishes. Maybe I should now pray that I will like washing them. But right now, I am happy to see that hatred softening, by the grace of God. Perhaps I will one day come to place where I relish washing dirty plates and pots and pans. Or perhaps, in my bumbling humanity, I will completely reverse any progress made in my attitude towards dish-washing. At the end of the day though, I was reminded that God is more than willing to help me in every aspect of my life. And He is so ready to pour His grace on me. Even in something as mundane as dishes.

What I did this Week: It was the Forth of July

  This past week has been busy and beautiful and broken. Here at its end I am having trouble remembering exactly how it started. One of the consequences of not journaling.

  Sunday morning found my family and I in Oklahoma. For the first time this year, all the cousins on my Dad's side were together. We had a lot of fun.

 

  Sunday afternoon found my family back in God's country with all my cousin's on my Mom's side of the family, also for the first time this year.

 

  Monday was the 4th of July. Shopping and picnicking happened.

 

   It is hard to say no to books.

 

  In the afternoon, some of us cousins decorated my oldest cousin's house. Because among family members, small acts of vandalism are tokens of affection.

 

   Tuesday I came home to find this masterpiece had come in the mail.

 

  Wednesday, I bought some patterns.

 

  Thursday, I tried out a new muffin recipe, and the results were pretty good.

 

  Yesterday, I got the lamest fortune with my takeout.

 

  Personally, this past week was good. It was really good. I got to spend time with people I love as well as get things accomplished. Nationally though, this past week has been horrible. It seems that every morning I woke to some new brokenness. I keep wanting the world to be better, and yet I live under the shadow of knowing it never really will be. This darkness may be a small and passing thing, but people are a part of this darkness, and it hurts to know that. This is going to sound silly, I needed to get that Switchfoot album when I did. It reminded pain is a part of life. It always will be. And yet pain is where God's goodness is the brightest. Its where His love is the loudest. The wound is where the light shines through.







God Does Not Need You to be Right

  As long as the church has been around, its members have fought. There are multiple instances in the New Testament where its writers address the quarrels that have sprung up among the believers. In the two thousand years the church has been around, not much has changed. Christians still disagree over many things. Those disagreements lead to arguments. And arguments usually do not lead to the resolution of the disagreement in question. They usually end by infuriating those involved.
  There is, in all men, a deep-seated desire to be right. While it at times springs from a passion for truth or a love of justice, it more often than not stems from pride. In his book Mere Christianity, C. S. Lewis says of pride, "There is no fault which makes a man more unpopular, and no fault which we are more unconscious of in ourselves. The more we have it ourselves, the more we dislike it in others." Pride is ungodly, and it is ugly.
  Christians are allowed to disagree. They are people and so it is bound to happen. However, Christians are supposed to be known by their love for one another. This means, if they must disagree, they have to do so civilly. While there is certainly a fair share of examples of violent disagreement among church members, believer's squabbles tend to be polite.
  With those polite squabbles, there are many times when believers disagree on rather unimportant things. And they walk away from their disagreement believing they are right and the other is "Oh so wrong!" Then they will chalk the other's short-coming up to a lack of good theology, or weak spirituality, or ignorance, because naturally, they are superior. Not through any merit of their own, of course, but because God has seen fit to show them that much more grace. When it boils down to it though, they are right, and the other person is wrong.
  There are times, when I think I need to be right to prove that God is right. And I do not need to be right, because God does not need that from me. He needs me to follow Him. To obey and honor and glorify Him and love Him with every fiber of my being. But He does not need me to prove anything to anyone for Him. If anything, He needs me to open to the possibility that I am wrong a lot of times, and that others might be right. Being a Christian means kicking over my holy cows, loving God with all my heart and loving my neighbor as myself. All at the cost of my pride. And many times at the cost of my being right

No One is Going to Hell Just Because They are Gay

  God is perfect and righteous and holy. As the Creator of the universe, His standard is ultimate and inescapable. The fact that He allows us to argue with Him in no way gives us the right to set ourselves up as His equal. What He says is right and wrong is right and wrong.
  There is often a difference between being who God called us to be, and "just being who we are." Mankind is made in the image of God, but mankind is also fundamentally flawed. We are born into sin. All our lives we are plagued with desires that are contrary to God's law. Because we have the ability to choose between right and wrong, we are responsible when we choose to disobey God. As righteous judge, God has the duty to punish us for sinning against Him, and the punishment for sin is death on earth and eternity in hell.
  Sin takes many forms. It comes in all shapes and sizes and has varying levels of impact on our lives. Some sins are small in a worldly sense while other are much larger. Either way, sin is sin and it is an affront to God. God does not send anyone to hell because of any specific sin they committed, God punishes people because they committed a sin,thus rebelling against Him.
  Sin is as varied as people. Lying, lust, selfishness, homosexuality, adultery, anger, murder, pride. God does not see individual sins as being different in their need for punishment. We as people see differences in sins because we see sin's impact on our temporary lives. The prideful Pharisee living his life in denial of his need for God is as deserving of punishment as the unrepentant serial killer.
  In spite of our sin, God loves His broken creation. So much so, that He sent His only son to die in our place to bear the punishment we deserve. Because of Christ's death in our place, we can take on His righteous, so that when God sees us, He does not see our sin: He sees the holiness of His son. We must call on God to show us mercy and cling to the work of Christ as our saving grace.
  Part of being a Christian is trusting Christ's grace to save us. Another is repenting of our sin and striving to live a holy life. It is putting behind that part of us that is "who we are" so we can be who God has called us to be. Living on this earth means we are going to struggle with sin until the end of our lives. Just as sin is varied, struggles are varied. I struggle with pride; a lot. As a Christian, though, I do not have to give into pride. By the grace of God, I get the opportunity to live a life of holiness and humility, and I am forgiven when I do fall short and sin.
  And so does every believer who deals with their own specific sin. Believers who struggle with same-sex attraction are not going to hell because that is their struggle. It is their earthly battle and by the grace of God and with His help they can fight it.
  People go to hell because they decide they do not need God and His saving grace. Because they think it is better to live on their own terms then on His. It is not the specific sin that condemns: it is the rebellion behind it that does.

Saved from the Monsters We Have Made

   

 

  Last week, I read Mary Shelley's Frankenstein. To say the least, it was fascinating. All Victorian Gothic thrills aside, Shelley presents some interesting philosophical points in her famed novel.

  Victor Frankenstein, the story's protagonist, is a young scientist. In his studies, he becomes obsessed with the idea of creating life. So much so, that he devotes two years to the work of creating a being that becomes his ruin. At the end of his labors, Frankenstein is horrified by his work and abandons the creature he strived so long to make. Being a finite creation himself, Frankenstein is unable to govern his creation, first as it seeks his help and then again as it exacts vengeance upon him for refusing to assist it.

  When Frankenstein made his monster, he was appalled by it. In the end, he worked to destroy it as it wrought havoc and horror on his life and loved ones. Victor Frankenstein tried to play God, and in doing so, discovered his own limitations. He could not control the work of his own hands.  The physical strength and ugliness of his monster terrified Frankenstein. As an imperfect creator, the being he made in his own image was gruesome.

  God who made all life is a perfect Creator:  Holy, righteous, loving and benevolent. Mankind, the creatures He made in His image, are free-willed and are consequentially broken by their own doing, not by any miss-step of their Creator. Because of His holiness, God has every right and all the ability to destroy the broken and rebellious work of His hands. Yet He chooses not to. He chooses instead to save man.

  Man is far more evil than Frankenstein’s monster. Humanity does not seek the help of their Creator as Frankenstein’s monster sought his. Man rejects the benevolent Creator by who they exist and pursue their own lusts. They disobey the commands of God who made them. Still, God calls mankind to come to Him. He went so far as to give up the life of His Son to pay the due punishment for the sin man has committed.

  The monsters in men’s lives are the ones we have made. And unlike Frankenstein’s monster, we the created have a Maker who desires to lift us out of our wretchedness and destroy the monster’s we have made for ourselves.

Talking to a Donkey

  A few weeks ago, I read through Leviticus and Numbers. In between the chapters about regulations regarding sacrifices and laws the children of Israel were to follow, there is the story of Balaam and his donkey.
  Balaam is an interesting character, only appearing in the Bible for these few chapters in Numbers. Other mentions of him in the Bible denote him as an enemy of God and of the people of Israel. Balaam was not a good person. He was not a hero, he was not a saint. Balaam was a gentile and a sorcerer. He knew of God, he even spoke to God, but he did not respect God enough to live his life in honor of his Creator. He was too busy pursuing his own selfish ends to be bothered with obeying God's law. In his career as a sorcerer, God apparently blessed Balaam. Those on whom Balaam pronounced curses were cursed, and those whom Balaam blessed were blessed.
  Because of this power Balaam apparently possessed, the king of Moab called upon Balaam for help. In their journey to the promised land, the people of Israel passed near Moab. Tales of the havoc God had wrought on the Egyptians while Israel was there spread all over the land. Balak feared what might happen to his nation, so he called on Balaam to pronounce curses on the people of Israel so they would be driven from his land. Here is where the story gets interesting. When Balak's men first came to retrieve Balaam, the Lord told Balaam not to go, and Balaam obeyed the Lord. When the first set of Balak's men went back to him, he sent more men to Balaam. And this time he offered Balaam a handsome reward to come and curse Israel. At first Balaam refused Balak's offer, but the moment the Lord told Balaam he could go, he hit the road.
  The Lord put a condition on Balaam before he left: he could only do as the Lord told him. It would seem that Balaam did not set off with the best of intentions, because an angel of the Lord came to speak to Balaam on his journey to the king of the Moabites. Balaam did not see the angel of the Lord. Three times. His donkey did though, and every time the dumb animal saw the angel, it fled. Balaam did not understand the donkey's action and so when his donkey would flee he would beat it. After the third beating, the Lord took pity on Balaam's donkey and let it speak its mind. So Balaam's donkey asked him why he had beaten him three times.
  Here the story becomes funny. Balaam was so intent on pursuing his own selfish ends, and so frustrated with his donkey, he did not stop to think about the fact his animal was talking to him, or that he was talking to an animal. He told his donkey how frustrated he was, saying, "You have made a fool of me! If I had a sword in my hand I would kill you now."
  His donkey replied, "Am I not your own donkey, which you have always ridden, to this day? have I been in the habit of doing this to you?"
  Balaam told his donkey, "No." And then it clicked: he was talking to a donkey. Then he saw the angel of the Lord. The angel confronted him about his actions towards his donkey and warned him against the reckless path he was pursuing. Balaam offered to go back the way he came, but the angel told him he could continue on his way to the king of the Moabites, only he must do as the Lord told him.
  The story goes on, and Balaam is commanded by the Lord to bless the nation of Israel, which he does. As I read the story though, the thought struck me, Balaam was so busy pursing his own selfish ambition, he failed to see the incredible things the Lord was doing around him. First an angel of the Lord appeared to him and he was blind to it. Then an animal spoke to him, and he was so angry he did not see the wonder of a talking animal. He just started arguing with a donkey. I can be like that too though. I get so busy pursuing my own self ends and disobeying that I fail to see just how incredible the works of the Lord are. It is important to obey God, not only because it honors and glorifies Him, but because I get to see His wonders when I do so.

What I did this Week: easter is over

  There is in me, right now, a strong urge to begin this post with a sarcasm-loaded homily about the holiday we just celebrated. I feel though, that I cannot write it without verging on irreverence. So I am going to skip for now and probably ever.

  Anyhow, Sunday, we celebrated the Resurrection of our Savior. After going to church, my younger siblings hunted for Easter eggs.

 

   Monday, one of my brothers built a castle out of sand and Dixie cups.

 

   Then he saw fit to protect it from his younger brothers.

 

  Wednesday, I wrote a letter to my brother who is off at ALERT.

 

  Thursday, I tried making orange monkey-bread, and it was okay.

 

  Friday, I made up a recipe for chicken and potato soup that turned out pretty good.

 

  And today I made a lot of bubble tea for my brothers and I.

 

And so went my week!

The Beginning of the End of Hope

 

  Hope is a tunnel, a means to an end. It is the dark that makes the distant light shine all the brighter. Those of us who are living on this earth as believers are looking to the end of hope. The day when all our dreams are realized and the figment becomes a reality. When the tunnel is ended and we stand in the sun.

  Christ came to earth and found His people deep in the dark of hope. And with His life, death, and resurrection, Christ brought the beginning of the end of hope. Before Christ came, the people of Israel were looking for a Messiah. They wanted a King who would save them from the oppression they suffered under the hands of the Roman government. Christ did free His people from oppression, but not the in way they expected.

  The people of Israel were looking for a physical kingdom and a temporal king. Christ offered them something more. Not only did he offer something more to the people if Israel, but also to the people of the whole world. Mankind is sinful, and the wages of sin is death. The only way for man to be saved is if someone was to live a perfect life and then die in their place, taking upon themselves the punishment man deserves. Christ did that. He left heaven and came to this earth as a man. He lived a perfect life and then took the sins of humanity upon Himself and died in their place. Then he rose again, conquering death. Those who repent of their sins and look to Christ's death as their only mean of salvation we be freed from the punishment they deserve. They will be given eternal life.

  Mankind looks for a Savior. Christ is that Savior. He is the realization of the hope of humanity. The salvation Christ has to offers goes beyond this life. It goes on into eternity. And those who are believers will live in heaven without hope, because nothing will be left to hope for. 

Yes I am Judging You, No I am Not Apologizing

  There is, perhaps, no verse in the Bible more abused than Matthew 7:1, "Do not judge, or you too will be judged." When Jesus spoke those words in the Sermon on the Mount, He was saying that we are not to set our personal preferences and convictions up as the barometer for good and evil. As finite men, we will be judged by the infinite and absolute authority of God. We are not to pass on to our fellow man pronouncements of justice based on what we do and do not like.
  Somewhere along the line, the meaning of this verse became misconstrued. In our postmodern American society, we have the idea that we can create our own standard of morality and no one else has the right to impose upon it. And what better way to keep people from telling us we are wrong than spitting a Bible verse at them.
  So many times, people who are not in anyway being judgmental, are written off as such because they are telling the truth. The truth is often offensive. It is more than offensive though, it is loving. If someone sees a person running towards the edge of a cliff, they will probably try and stop the person. It not because they do not like the person's shoes, or because they think running makes them look stupid. They are going to tell the person not to run towards the edge of the cliff because they will probably fall off and die. They are not imposing some arbitrary standard they have, they are trying to make the person see the of the reality of the situation: what they are doing will kill them.
  If someone is doing something wrong, it is going to hurt them. If I tell them what they are doing is wrong, I am not trying to spoil their fun, I am trying to keep them from hurting themselves. There is a certain amount of judgment that does into telling someone that what they are doing is wrong. That judgment does come from knowing right and wrong. But that judgement also comes from being loving. And if being loving means being perceived as judgmental, then I am not going to apologize for judging someone any more than I would apologize for loving them.

Who I am Actually

 Labels

Do not actually

mean anything.

We

Humanity.

We like them.

Use them

To try to find

Our place

Here in the world.

And the labels come

From things we can touch.

What we can

Put our finger on.
What we make ourselves
Is not what matters.
It is what our Maker
Makes of us
That lasts beyond
The labels we make
For ourselves.

Holy Cows

  A couple of days ago, I was reading my daily Psalm and I came across this short passage, "At Horeb they made a calf and worshiped an idol cast from metal. They exchanged their glory for the image of a bull, which eats grass. They forgot the God who saved them, who had done great things in Egypt, miracles in the land of Ham and awesome deeds by the Red Sea." (Psalm 106:19-22)
  I have read those verses countless times, but the other day, they struck me a way they never had before. The Israelites saw God's wonders in powerful ways. They watched the Lord pour down His might and wrath on the people of Egypt through the plagues. In the desert they saw Him tear the Red Sea apart and then they walked across it on dry ground. In their wanderings through the desert, the Lord had feed them with bread from heaven and quenched their thirst with water from a rock. When they built a golden calf to worship, the Israelites were within sight of Mount Sinai as it stood cloaked in clouds from the presence of God. And yet they turned aside to worship a cud-chewing cow. One of those docile meandering animals that begs to be domesticated.
  Humans are stupid like that. We like gods we can control rather than the God that controls the universe. The Israelites were tired of God. They wanted him to show up when they wanted Him to and do what they wanted Him to. Then, when He did not, they starting worshiping a cow.
  It would be funny if it were not so sad; the silly idols we establish for ourselves. If something exists, a body is bound to worship it. And ironically, it seems the more unworthy a thing is, the more likely we are to worship it. There is an insatiable thirst for God inside us. As long as we turn to other things it will remain so.
  The holy cows we build for ourselves are silly and sad and wrong. We not only break God's law, we deprive ourselves of the opportunity to worship the only God worthy of our adoration. Even if it hurts our pride, holy cows have to be knocked down so we can wholly worship our powerful and mighty Lord.

Love and Truth

 There is one thing everyone in this world can agree on, everyone wants to be loved. Even the most metallic of hearts can be melted. Love is one the most wonderful gifts a body can receive, and one of the greatest gifts a body can give.
  Love is tricky though. To love means, at times, to be hard. Last week, I read through the book of I John. Usually when I read through the book, I tend to pay attention of I John 3:16, which says, "This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down His life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers." Verses about dying tend to be eye-catching. But as I continued reading chapter four, the verses following stuck out. "Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth. This then is how we know that we belong to the truth, and how we set our hearts at rest in His presence whenever our hearts condemn us. For God is greater than our hearts, and He knows everything." (I John 3:18-20).
  Christians talk a lot about love because it is universal. Sometimes we talk about love at the cost of the truth. Everyone loves love, while the truth is often unpopular. John that we belong to the truth. It is the truth that allows to show love. To show love may be to tell someone they are wrong; to tell them that the thing that makes them happy is killing them; to tell them they are literally going to hell. It is far from pleasant to do those things. It is certainly not nice. God does not ask to be nice though. Kind, yes. Loving, yes. And to be loving and kind does not mean side-stepping sticky issues because they are uncomfortable. It means gently and relentlessly presenting our fellow men with the truth when it hurts them and us.

The Thing About Getting Older

 Last year, on my birthday, I did a very blogger-like thing and wrote about twenty things I had learned in the past twenty years. When I published that post, I assumed that writing what I had learned in the past years would become an annual birthday tradition. This year, my birthday rolled around sooner than I expected though. And I could have posted twenty-one clichéd things I had learned in the past year, but something about that seemed really fake this year. It is not that last year's post was fake. It is just that I am in no way a lifestyle blogger, and that kind of post did not seem like something I would do anymore. I am a nerd who likes to share her opinions about everything under the sun with the internet.
  I did learn a lot last year. As I oh-so-eloquently stated in one post, I learned that to be hopeful you must be intentional. I also re-learned that nothing lasts forever. I mean, God is eternal, and so is the human soul, but there were things in my life that I took for granted would always be there. Friends, marriages, life itself. I did know that all of those things had the potential to go away, but I never expected them to. It is not that bad things have never happened before, it is just that more of them seem to have come from my fellow human beings this past year.
  Change is inevitable. Its leaves behind memories both good and bad. Last year I learned to remember to hope. I also learned to let the good past go because though it may be good, it is the past. God has me living today. Not yesterday. Not tomorrow. As I live between yesterday and tomorrow, I am learning to trust that no matter what the past had, and no matter what the future holds, God will help me in the step I take in this moment. And learning that is so much more worthwhile than learning coffee is the elixir of life.

The Reason for the Season (Yes, I know that sounds cliched)

  On Christmas day, I had the privilege of celebrating the birth of Christ: the coming of a Holy God to a fallen world. Friday morning, I woke up and read the second chapter of Luke as I always do on Christmas morning. And then I flipped back to read my daily Psalm. On Christmas morning, I read Psalm 22 which opens with, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far off from saving me, so far from the words of my groaning." 33 years after His birth, Christ spoke those words as He hung on the cross to die for man's sin.
  I do not follow any particular Bible reading plan. I read a few chapters of the Bible a day until I finish it, then I start over. This year, I started reading a couple of Psalms along with my daily Bible reading, and through no planning of my own, the Psalms I read are always relevant to my day to day situations. I could have in no way planned for my daily reading to fall on the Psalm that spoke of Christ's suffering on the cross, anyways, not without some serious calculating. Yet, with my imperfect stumbling through the Bible, I still got a glimpse of the whole of Christ's life.
  The reason for celebrating Christmas is more than just remembering His coming, it is remembering the reason Christ came. To suffer, to die, to bear the sins of His people so they could have His holiness and live eternally with Him. Christ came because of His love, and that is something worth celebrating.

Christmas Spirit, or Whatever you Call It

 

 

Christmas is my favorite holiday. The season surrounding it is full of great things. Peace on earth, goodwill towards men, love and family. Everyone who celebrates Christmas enjoys these things. But why? The spirit of the season certainly does not come from the commercialization of the holiday and the traffic and the last minute shopping and the cold weather. It is the celebration of the birth of Christ that makes Christmas a holiday worth celebrating. When December rolled around this year, I forgot that. I was merely happy about the happiness of the season, I did not think about the reason to be happy.

  Happiness is good, but in loving it for its own sake, I found happiness to be pretty hollow. It is not that I forgot what Christmas is about, I just did not take the time to ponder the wonder of it, and that is a shame. At Andrew Peterson’s “Behold the Lamb” concert, he refers to the Christmas story as “The True Tall Tale of the Coming of Christ.” As a Christian, I have a great privilege come Christmastime. I get to celebrate the coming of God to earth. God who saw that in my sinful state I needed to be saved and came to this earth to live a perfect life in my place, die the death I deserve to die, and then to rise from the dead and conquer death.

  Admittedly, the coming of Christ to this earth is worth celebrating all year. But if there is a time of year set aside just to remember Christ’s coming to earth, I ought to take advantage of it. It is, after all, the birth of Christ that makes Christmas worth celebrating.  It gives happiness. It brings a spirit that outlasts the season.

A Man After God's Own Heart and Me

  Of all the people in the Bible, I can easily say David is not among my favorite. For the past couple months, my family and I have been going through the books of I and II Samuel. In those books, David showed himself to be a lot of things. A murderer, an adulterer, a womanizer, a dead-beat dad, a prideful king. Yet, those things are not what defined David in the eyes of God. In Acts 13:22b, God says of David, "'I have found David son of Jesse a man after my own heart; he will do everything I want him to do.'" It was through the line of David, that God allowed His earthly temple to be built. It was by David's hand that some of the most beautiful poetry put to paper was written. And it was through the line of David that God brought His son Jesus Christ into the world. God blessed David, and He also loved him enough to discipline him.
  David was a man passionately in love with God. He did sin, but he also repented. He patiently bore the consequences of his sin, knowing he justly deserved them. In Psalms 51:10-12, we read the words, "Create in me a pure jeart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me away from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of my salvation and grant me a willing spirit to sustain me." After committing the sin of adultery and instigating the murder of a man, David wrote this Psalm of repentance, and after that he never again committed the sins of adultery or murder. He clung to God's grace, and strove to live a holy life after his mistakes.
  So there was David, a man after God's own heart. And then there is me, a well-behaved, law-abiding, self-righteous little Pharisee. David's life makes me look like a saint. But could it be said of me that I am a woman after God's own heart? More often than not, it sadly cannot be said of me. I am a selfish girl. Many times I use the excuse of living in my own skin to pursue my own lusts, but that is far from being a legitimate excuse for selfishness.
  By the grace of God though, He does discipline me and draws me closer to Him. I have to learn to pursue God and love Him whole-heartedly, just as He loves and pursues me. And by His grace, I can learn to chase the heart of God instead of chasing me.

For this I am Thankful

 

 Now that I have posted the obligatory food picture so that people will actually click on my blog post link, here are the things I am thankful for this year.

 

  The Grace of God and Salvation through Christ, because without Him everything else on this list would be pointless.

 



  That I am not a teenager. Hormones stink.

  For turkey.

  And leftovers.

  And siblings who smile at me until I share my leftovers with them.

  For my whole family. Kudos to this group of people for putting up with me for decades.

  That I got to go to Chicago and spend time with some amazing friends.

  That I got to volunteer at ALERT and work with a wonderful group of girls.

  That Christmas is almost here.

  For the color plaid.

  For Big Bend National Park.

  That I realized my addiction to caffeine and I now know how to compensate for it (which is basically to drink a ton of coffee).

  That for this year I have been given the good sense and the will to journal more.

  That Star Wars: The Force Awakens is coming out in less then a month.

  For Jon Foreman's incredible new EP set.

  That Andrew Peterson released a new album this year.

  And with that being said, I will leave you with this song.

No Excuse Really

  Monday morning found me a whining monster. Tuesday found me a happy camper. This morning again found me a whining monster, but after 10 o'clock I was a happy camper. Monday and Tuesday I blamed my attitude on the weather. Monday being miserably cold and Tuesday being warm and sunny. Today was warm and sunny, today I had no reason to take on the title of Oscar the Grouch. I had no excuse to be Oscar the Grouch on Monday either for that matter.
  As I have said before, feelings are fleeting. They come and go without rhyme or reason. Often though, I let them affect me more than I try and affect them. I cannot control the weather, or the actions of others, or even my own hormones. I do, however, have a choice about how I respond to my circumstances. What is more, is that, as a Christian, I have a responsibility to live a life of joy and of gratitude and of selflessness. In I Thessalonians 5:16-18, Paul addresses the Thessalonian church with these words, "Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."
  When I give into my grouchiness, it is often because I am inconvenienced. Other times it is because I am plain selfish and others do not adhere to my will. Then at other times, it is because I am not grateful for the bountiful gifts given me. To give into my sinful nature and lash out against those around me may be the easy thing, but it is wrong. And as a Christian, I am given the choice to act against my selfish nature.
  On my own, I would be an eternal Oscar the Grouch, but by the grace of God, I can live as His child. I can love others when I do not want to love. I can be thankful when I would naturally want more. I have no excuse to be a whiny grouchy person, and because of the love of Christ Jesus I do not have to be.

Christians not Cannibals

Galatians 5:14-15, “The entire law is summed up in a single command: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ If you keep on biting and devouring each other, watch out or you will destroy each other.”

    The Church is a body, not a buffet. Often though, I find myself treating it as such. There is in me, a deep-seated tendency to pick and choose the believers I like and ignore those that I do not.  At a buffet that is fine, but the body of Christ is not here to serve me and cater to my whims. I am part of the body of Christ, I am not a cannibal.

  Believers have a hard job. As those Christ has called, we are called to love. We are called to work and to serve those around us without expecting anything in return. We are not called to squabble or to bicker. Nor are we called to expect believers around us to align their lives to our own tastes. Part of being a body means that each part has to be different from one another. Just as there are no two identical hairs on the human body, so no two people in the body of Christ are the same. Each brings a unique set of characteristics and talents to the table. Whether or not we as people can see it, the traits of the different members of the body of Christ work together to glorify God.

  And that is point anyways. The Church is not here for the pleasure of man. It is here for the glory of God, for the encouragement of His children, and for the advancement of the gospel. When I as a believer decide which aspects of Christ’s church I do and do not like, I put myself above God. I put my desire for happiness above His command to love Him with all my heart and to love my neighbor as myself. I am here to build the Church of Christ up, not devour it as I see fit.

More than a Feeling

 Forgiveness in a decision, it is a commitment. That is easy to remember, but so hard to put into practice. In Sunday school this week, we talked about the book of Philemon and about forgiveness. The book of Philemon was written from Paul to Philemon who was a part of the early church in Colosse. Philemon was apparently a man of wealth. The book addressed to him is an appeal from Paul to accept Onesimus, a slave of Philemon's who had run away.
  After running away from Philemon, Onesimus came into contact with Paul and was brought to faith in Christ. He stayed with Paul, and seemed to be helping him in Rome for a time. Paul wrote letters both to Philemon and to the church at Colosse, and when he sent them to the church, he sent Onesimus back as well. In his letter to Philemon, Paul asks Philemon to forgive Onesimus and to accept him as a brother.
  Human nature is selfish. To forgive another is to deny one's own humanity. We as people like to hold onto our hurts. We like to let them fester inside until they become bitter ugly wounds that refuse to heal. Many times if seems easier to not forgive; but to cling to that bitterness, to refuse to forgive those who have wronged us, is like trying to heal sickness with poison. The problem only grows worse.
  Forgiveness is hard. It takes dedication. It means putting the past behind you everyday. It means loving people regardless of the wrong they have done. It mean deciding to love someone even when you do not feel like loving them. For those who are believers, forgiveness is more than just a good idea. To forgive one's offenders is a command. In Colossians 3:13-14 we read, "Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity." And in Ephesians 4:32 we read, "Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ, God forgave you."
  For those who claim to be in Christ, forgiveness is not an option: it is a lifestyle. A life of forgiving others as we have been forgiven. Because what right do we have as sinful human beings have to hold onto wrongs done against us, when our Holy and Righteous God has chosen to cast our sins as far as the east is from the west?