A Still Moment

 

  Christmas is over. Today it feels it like Christmas was ages ago. I have been spending the day sewing with my cousin who is working on a pair of lounge pants. I have been listening to the rumble of the sewing machine, the snick of scissors, my cousins voice, and the sounds of Switchfoot. This week has been busy between hanging out with cousins, shopping, sewing and doing a Hobbit marathon. Christmas vacation has been a lot of fun.

The Prayers of the Saints

  I have been infinitely blessed with my family. To be able to join with my cousins and aunts and uncles in prayer is encouraging beyond words. I have been given a family with whom I will spend eternity. Not everyone has been given that blessing.
  Today I was reminded of my gift as I listened to my Uncle pray for my Mom. Yes, my Mom still has cancer. And yes, I am still scared, but I know prayers are being lifted up on her behalf. And I am encouraged to hear my family praise the Lord in all circumstances.

Colds and Mortality

  I am well aware of the fact I am a human being. I need food, sleep and climate control just like everybody else. I am young, however, and that often leads me to believe I am invincible.

  Then I catch a cold. Colds are miserable. You spend at least one full day in your pajamas shuffling around with a over-used tissue, coughing into your sleeve, and ingesting an insane amount of vitamin C. The worse thing about a cold is the fact you know in a few days you will be feeling good again, but a few days away is not today.

  The woes of coping with a cold reminds me of my humanity. I am living in a imperfect, mortal body. I am not invincible, my body runs as well as it does because I am in the hands of the Almighty Creator. The shell my soul is living in will crumble one day, and there's nothing I or anyone else can do about it. Everyday I need to remember this world is not where I belong, I am not home yet. I never will be until my body dies and I leave behind my mortality to go and meet my Maker. 

Trusting God and the "C-word"

  I am not by nature a worrisome person. A good deal of the happy-go-lucky personality I had as a child has carried over into my adulthood. Naturally, I know understand the cares of life more now then I did then, but I am pretty good at not letting them get to me. Then I found out my Mom has cancer.
  Now I understand what worry is. I have felt the presence of the terrible fog you cannot see through. I have always tried to trust God no matter the circumstances, but this is different then anything else I have ever experienced. Never before have I felt so threated by the world around me and I realize there are so many things I cannot control.
  Then last week my pastor preached a sermon on Isaiah 36-37:7 about Sennacherib's threat to attack Jerusalem. Hezekiah, the king of Judah, responded rightly to the threat against his nation. Instead of looking to the nations around him to free him from his enemies, Hezekiah cried out to the Lord for mercy and deliverance. God listened to Hezekiah's cry for help and He rescued the nation of Judah and destroyed Sennacherib and his army. Hezekiah had great faith in God in the face of adversity. He had great faith in God when his circumstances did not make any sense.
  I needed to be reminded to have a bold and daring faith in God. Right now, I do not understand why my Mom has cancer. I still come to God screaming why. At the same time I am learning to trust Him and he is giving me a peace that pasts all understanding.

December the 2nd, In Alvin

  My brothers yell into the house, "Hey Hannah, come look at this snake."

 

 

  So I go outside to see it and end up staying outside to take pictures of the fall in southeast Texas.

 

  And yes, I realize it doesn't look much like fall. It is about 75 degrees Fahrenheit, but no worries, I like the warm weather.  

Happy Thanksgiving

  Today I joined hundreds of other Americans in waking up at the crack of dawn to put a turkey in the oven. Now my family will participate in the annual American gluttony festival. We will be sufficiently fueled to wake up in the wee hours of the morrow so we can rush out and pay homage to the gods of crass commercialism.
  I am kidding.
  Thanksgiving, despite all appearances, is not a gluttony festival. And I will not go black Friday shopping tomorrow. I will, however, list the things I am thankful for this year.

My little sister. I waited eighteen years for her and she was worth the wait.

My brothers. Sure they drive me up the wall half the time but my life would be miserable without them.

My parent who love me unconditionally and encourage me to follow the Lord everyday.

That I got my driver's license with no drama.

For brownies.

For Nutella.

My cousins with whom I share a bond in the Lord.

That the Allen's visited us this summer.

My crazy awesome friends who put up with me.

For the turkey that laid its life down for my lunch.

For the marriage of two of my friends that took place this summer.

My converse.

The chance to volunteer at ALERT, and for the friends I made there.

That The Desolation Of Smaug is coming out in less then a month.

Coffee.

Stars.

The color blue.

I am most thankful for the saving grace of Christ. I am thankful that despite my past and my sin He still loved me enough to die for me and a save me from the punishment I deserve. I am thankful for the love He shows me everyday and that because of Him I can celebrate Thanksgiving.
 

Careful What You Pray For

  Sometimes, I ask God for things I do not really want. Things like contentment. During my second week at ALERT, I was asked to stay two weeks longer then I had planned to. Though I was looking forward to seeing my family again, I was also enjoying my time a ALERT and wanted to stay longer. I left the decision of whether or not I would stay up to my parents. After asking my parents if I could stay, I prayed for contentment. And I am sure I prayed an honest prayer, but I really wanted to stay at ALERT.

  When my parents called a couple days later and told me that they were going to pick me up when they had originally planned to, I was disappointed. I was not content. I did not want to be content. I sulked a little bit that day, I will admit. Then in the evening I went running with a friend. When we were done we walked out to the runway and laid down on it to look at the stars. As I watched the sparkle of a billion suns shining light-years away, I realized I was tired of being discontent. So I prayed for the same contentment I had asked the Lord for earlier, and He gave it to me.

  It really is almost funny, the way I do not want the things that are best for me. And I am not talking about whether or not I stayed up at ALERT, I'm talking about being content no matter where I am. At some point I have to let go of my selfish desires. The longer I hold onto them the longer they will hold me down. But when I let them go and give them to God, then I am free, and then I am content. 

Where the leaves change

  Maybe its a little obvious that I'm from south-east Texas. As far as I know I'm the only person up here at ALERT right now who has laid down on the road and pushed the screen out of her window to get the perfect angle for pictures of the leaves. I'm happy with the results though, and so glad to experience God's great, big, beautiful world.

Unnessarily Beautiful

  This morning, a friend and I walked to the runway here at ALERT to watch the sunrise. It amazes me that everyday God makes the world beautiful. You see it more on a campus like the ALERT campus just because nature is everywhere.
  I was thinking, God did not have to make the sunrise breath-taking, but He did. He did not have to take pastel shades of blue and molten gold and swirl them in the sky, but He did. God did not even have to give human beings the senses to see and process the beauty in the world around us, but He did.
  God did, however, give us the choice to acknowledge Him as the author of the beauty in the world around us or to reject Him. Whether we do or not is up to us. Do not reject God, do not turn your eyes away from Him and His beauty. Praise and acknowledge His goodness. Thank Him for being all He is to us everyday. Appreciate the unnecessary beauty of the sunrise.

 

 

Cutting Chives

 There are just those days. You know, those days when you get a lack-luster job like mincing chives. Chives are necessary for baked potatoes, of course, but there are so many things that at least seem like they would be more fun to do. I'm not the first person to have a ho-hum mundane job though. My Savior was washing people's feet. Chives smell, but they can't compare with the smell of feet.
  So for those days when work is boring and I'd like another job, there is always this verse:
Ephesians 6:7
  "Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not men,"

Letting go of Control

 

  Today it feels like it has been forever since I have blogged. Caught up in the messy busyness of life, I have pushed certain things aside. Blogging has been one of them. So today I stopped being busy. After finishing dinner's dishes, I made a cup of cocoa and made myself write. That sounds like I don't want to write. I do, I just feel the overwhelming burden of the millions of things I have left undone.

  Next week I am going up to ALERT  to volunteer for a few weeks. I am excited to be going and at the same time feel completely unready. Before I leave on Saturday I still have to sew and pack and clean my room. I am losing every vestige of control I have ever owned.

  But that is a good thing. I need to lose control sometimes, need to remember my mortal side. I do not need to be in control, though I fight for every scrap of control I can get my hands on. When I give the control God has given me back to Him, I am happy and free. If God wants me to have every detail of my life worked out, He will help me get it that way. And if He does not, He will keep holding my hand and He will let me know I am going to be okay. 

"For me to live is Christ..."

Philippians 1:21
  "For me to live is Christ and to die is gain."

  What a simple verse. These is nothing confusing about it. It is easy for me to rattle this verse off when asked what my life verse is. And I do mean what I say, but do I always mean it? Do I always live it?

  "For me to live is Christ.."

  Wow.

  Everything I do, every word I say, every thought I think. (That's where it gets scary). Do I always live for Christ, or at least try to? No, I don't. I may not say do something sinful when I get cut off while trying to change lanes, but I may say something nasty. And I may not even say something, but I may think something, and that could worse. It is by God's grace alone that I can live like Christ. And it is my responsibility as a Christian to proclaim Christ to the world. "For me to live is Christ..." even when I drive.

Just Don't Sing

  God is a jealous God. I was reminded of this today. He wants all of me. He doesn't just want me on Sundays or when I'm doing my devotions in the morning. He wants me everyday all the time. In Revelation 3:15-16, God addresses the church of Laodicea saying, "I know you're deeds, that you are neither hot nor cold. I wish that you were either one or the other! So because you are lukewarm-neither hot nor cold-I am going to spit you out of my mouth."
  God wants me to be hot or cold, not the happy medium. That's hard. Not that I want to settle for mediocrity, sometimes its just easier to be a "normal" person.
  Everyday I have to sacrifice myself. Everyday I have to make a conscience decision to live for God whole-heartedly, and its only by His grace I can. I need to be singing 10,000 Reasons with all my heart or just not singing it at all.

Hope

  This life is far from being easy. There are many times when we are crawling through the muck we've made of life and the only reason we can get through is because of this thing we call hope. Because of hope we can believe one day we will get out of the mess and find the light at the end of the tunnel. But what do we hope in, really. When our hope is in our friends or tomorrow or coffee, we are building ourselves up to receive a blow of crushing disappointment.
  There is only one secure source of hope in this world, and He is our heavenly Father. When we finally stop looking to the world around us for hope and look to God instead, we will find hope.

The First Year I Went to Family Camp...

  Last year I volunteered at the International ALERT Academy and while I was up there nearly everyone asked me if I had been to Family Camp. After sheepishly replying no, I would immediately  receive the answer, "Well, you need to go this year." Well, I didn't go that year, but I did go this year and it was lots and lots of fun.

  Family camp is like church camp for the whole family. There were some great devotions both in the morning and in the evening. During the in between time (and a little after) we canoed and rappelled and ate camping food and played ultimate Frisbee and walked about five miles a day and then  showered at the end of the day because, yeah, we needed it. About three days into Family Camp our family made the decision that we need to go to next year. And hopefully we will.

Family Camp 2013

Here's why I haven't blogged for the past week:

 

  And yes, I do realize this picture is backwards, I didn't bother to make a mirror image of it ;) I'll blog more about family camp later. 

Free

Leviticus 26:13
  "I will put my dwelling among you, and I will not abhor you. I will walk among you and be your God and you will be my people. I am the Lord your God who brought you out of Egypt so that you would no longer be slaves to the Egyptians; I broke the bars of your yoke and enabled you to walk with heads held high."

  In the days of the Old Testament, God chose the Israelites as His people. He loved them, He freed them from the bondage of slavery to the Egyptians. The Israelites, however, rejected God over and over. They disobeyed His laws and consequently rejected His blessings.
  Now, God has saved me. He has freed me from the yoke of sin and I now am free in the Spirit. I can love and obey God. Unlike those who are not Christians, I am free to struggle with sin. Free to hold my head high and not live in bondage.
  Not that I always do. Sometimes I try to put my yoke back on, I still sin. I still cling to my chains. I must put my past behind me. I must pray for God to make me free again and again. I am free to struggle, I'm not struggling to be free.

Two-Face Muffins

  Half chocolate half banana muffins. These were good. The chocolate side was a little dry though. I can't remember where I found the recipe, mostly because I didn't pin it. But to any other aspiring muffin makers, here's how you do it. Mix up muffin batter for about 24 muffins, divide it in half, and mix a third a cup of unsweetened cocoa powder into half of the batter. Scoop one tablespoon of banana batter into one side of a greased muffin cup and one tablespoon of chocolate batter in the other half. Bake as directed and enjoy!

The First Day of Fall

 

 

  The first day of fall is here. I can smell it, feel it, taste it. The air has cooled. Not that it is yet time for us to bundle up in sweaters and scarves. We can sit outside without boiling in our own sweat is all. The smell of smoke lingers in the air, faint but unmistakable. Someone has burned the summer's cuttings. Leaves have fallen, lying crumpled and brown beneath the trees that bore them all summer. Their brothers and sisters that cling tightly to the branches are as green and as vibrant as they have always been. They may yet have a chance to turn. The tiniest of raindrops patter gently down, cooling the air, the land and the pool water. Staining the paper on which I write, making the blue lines turn to puddles on the sheets.
  Fall is a season of change. A buffer between the hear of summer and the chill of winter. A time of harvest and bonfires and lightweight sweaters and sleeves. It is a time to close up. I've never cared for fall. Not that dislike the attributes of the season. I'm just never ready for the summer to go. I still want to lay in the grass and stare at the blue sky. I still want to be able to swim and eat watermelon and tiger's blood snow cones. But all good things must come to an end and in the case of summer turning to fall, it is so one good thing can make way for another.

Because Its Good to Remember

Psalms 103:8-12

  "The LORD is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love. He will not always accuse, nor will He harbor His anger forever; He does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is His love for those who fear Him: as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us."

 

  I have read these verses so many times they have in many ways become redundant. "Yes, I know, the Lord is gracious and compassionate. Hasn't he always been that way?"

  Yes, He has, and that is the beauty of God, the beauty of grace. God, in all His holiness and majesty is also gracious and compassionate. He loves His people He has created.

  It really is almost strange that God loves His creation. Especially when you consider how often we make idols to replace Him. In Isaiah 44, we read about these idols: idols that people have made for themselves. In Isaiah 44 they are carved from wood, the same wood their maker uses to warm himself and cook his meal.

  "From the rest he makes a god, his idol; he bows down to it and worships. He prays to it and says, 'Save me; you are my god.' They know nothing, they understand nothing; their eyes are plastered over so they cannot see, and their minds closed so they cannot understand. No one stops to think, no one has the knowledge or understanding to say, 'Half of it I used for fuel; I even baked bread over the coals, I roasted meat and I ate. Shall I make a detestable thing from what is left? Shall I bow down to a stick of wood? He feeds on ashes, a deluded heart misleads him; he cannot save himself, or say, 'Is not this thing in my right hand a lie?'" (Isaiah 44:17-20).
  We as humans are so ready to worship, so ready to bow down and grovel on the floor before things whether or not they are worthy of our worship.
  God created us and is worthy of our worship. For some reason, we would rather go worship other things. God, as a righteous God, could kill us as just punishment for our sins. And yet, He forgives us. He is slow to anger. He is gracious and compassionate. He is abounding in love. Why do we turn to idols? It should be our joy to love and obey God. So let's do that. Let's honor our God. If we are Christians, how can we afford to do any less then worship God with all our being. Let us never think of His loving compassion as being mundane. 

Butterflies or Mosquitos

  It helps to have a positive outlook on life and my two-year-old brother reminded me of the importance of looking on the bright side of things yesterday. Due to some recent rains, we have been battling an outbreak of mosquitos here in Houston. Because they are too young to think of them, little children suffer the most from mosquitoes (I think). Yesterday, I saw mosquito bites on Peter and said, "Oh buddy, did the mosquitoes get you?"

  He replied, "No. The butterflies bite me."

  Of course, I had to correct him and explain that butterflies don't bite people, its mosquitos that viciously try to eat us. Then Mom said, "Well, that is really a positive way of looking at things."

  Some look at a glass as being half-empty, others see it as half full. Some look at bugs and see mosquitos, others see butterflies.

The god of self

  Me.

  Myself.

  I.

  I wonder how many times a day I say those words. They fall from my lips so easily. Recently at church, we did a book study on Kyle Idleman's book gods at war. When we started the book I sincerely (and vainly) hoped there would not be a chapter on my biggest idol: me.
  Its hard for me to not love me. Its not that I am a super loveable person, its just that I live in my own skin. I cater to my needs and desires: pain, hunger, tiredness. Not that giving into any of those three sensations in necessarily a bad thing, its just when I let those things and others overrule the rest of my life. In Matthew 22:37-39 we read, "Jesus replied: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' "(NIV).
  We are commanded to love God and to love our neighbor. When we focus on obeying God, we can forget about obeying ourselves. Then, by God's grace we can start fighting the god of me and obey the only God who deserves our obedience.
 

Almost Over

Here's for the last (and probably longest) vacation post yet.

 

  Saturday, the last day of our vacation, was a very busy day. After waking up and eating breakfast casserole, we went to the 45th Division Infantry Museum in Oklahoma.

 

 

  The 45th Division Infantry Museum was really interesting. It was a fun place for my brothers, and I enjoyed it except for this small detail:

 

  I can understand why they wouldn't want fifty-million people to take flash pictures of their original Bill Mauldin drawings and Hitler artifacts, but it was such hard rule to keep in a low-light atmosphere. There were still a lot of great pictures to be taken.

 

 



 

  About the Swastika, I was standing in the room with the World War Two artifacts and thought for a moment about what a different world this would be if the Nazis had won World War Two, and this flag became the flag of the United States of America. But it didn't, and by the grace of God we were saved from a certain fate.

 

 

  As we continued through the museum, we saw this shrapnel from some civil war era cannons. My five-year-old brother looked at it and commented, "That would leave a pretty big hole in your stomach."

 

  The boys walked over the fourteen acres of plane, trucks, and tanks while my cousin Ashley and I sat in the in shade with baby sister. Then we went to Pops.

  On route 66 in Oklahoma, in a city called Arcadia, there is a gas station called Pops. It is called Pops because they sell every kind of soda in existence. This picture should give you the tiniest idea of what Pops is like inside.

 

  There are about twenty cases of soda on the right side of the store, and every one is like the one pictured; one has root beer, one has cola, one has cream soda, one has ginger ale. They've also got all the disgusting fruit flavors and flavors no one really wants to drink like loaded baked potato and sweet corn.  I would have taken more pictures inside except there were about thirty people all at each others elbows. 

 I drank the red birch beer, which was very good, but the bacon soda was a gift for someone, I never would have bought it for myself.

 

  After leaving Pops, we went back to our cousins, swam, and enjoyed just hanging out with them for the rest of the day. Thus ends our vacation. It was fun and we are looking forward to seeing all of our cousins and aunt and uncles again soon. (To those of you reading: hint, hint)











OKLAHOMA!

  We realize, after seeing casinos, we're not in Texas anymore. Winstar World Casino is about five minutes into Oklahoma. I originally intended to take a picture of every casino we passed on the way to my Dad's sister's house, but there's so many I finally figured, "What's the point?" and only took a couple pictures.

 

 

  After travelling about an hour into Oklahoma, we stopped at a rest stop that was good by OK standards. The restroom was crawling with (pause for effect) BLACK WIDOWS! Okay, there was only eight of them crawling around the outside of the windows, but as soon as I saw them, I made a beeline for anywhere other then where those spiders were.

 

 

    To be featured later...

 

 

 

   Cousin Ashley and I painted our toenails. Before...

 

 

  and after!

 

  And now the vacation story is almost over. More to come later.