Why do we lose our wide-eyed wonder? We grow up and try to fit the world in the confining space of comfort. We let the earth's orbit of the sun become little more then a dull monotony. The truth of the matter is that each year is a swirling ride of beauty and terror.
  Once we were small, once we were not afraid to dream things too big for our comprehension. Once the world was a wild to be tamed. Now we are grown-ups. We have forgotten the fairy-tales of old, forgotten the world is an adventure. In our false sense of maturity we deem ourselves too old to discover. We are afraid of being built up and broken down.
  Someday we will be forced to tear away the façade of maturity. We will have to be shattered. We will learn again what a beautiful and terrible place the world is outside of grown-up land.

What I did this Week: In Which I buy many things...

  This week has been really good. I wanted to start this post off with a verse we studied in church today.

Isaiah 40:25-26
  ""To whom will you compare me? Or who is my equal?" says the Holy One. Lift your eyes and look to the heavens; who created all these? He who brings out the starry hosts one by one, and calls them each by name. Because of His great power and mighty strength, not one of them is missing"

  God has no equal. Everything in existence is here because of His care alone. He is the one who puts the stars into place, who keeps them dancing their parts in the sky. He is the same God who loves and cares for us. That is a truly awe-inspiring thought.

  I feel like not a whole lot happened this past week, and that largely due to the fact that it rained so much.

  On Sunday afternoon I drew this doodle and I know what it is just like the rest of you, which means I have no clue what it is. I wanted to draw a bottle with a plant in it and then I needed a background and it all went from there.

 

 

Like I said before: it rained a lot. Here is a semi-decent picture of what it looked like outside for the majority of the week.

 

 

Wednesday I finished teaching the 4th-6th graders for the quarter. As you can see I have a very mature class.  

 

 

Thursday it was rainy again so I went to the book store with my brothers. As you can see I bought The Great Divorce by C.S. Lewis, one of my all time favorite authors, and The Confessions of Saint Augustine, which I am really excited about reading. I also bought a soundtrack with some Star Wars music and The Oath by Frank E. Perreti.

 

 

Friday I went and bought some fabric. The plaid is for me, the floral and white is for a baby dress.

 

 

And because the Forth of July is coming up I figured I should buy and Captain America shirt to wear for that day. And days after I am sure.

 

 

  And there is my week. 

 

 

 

When I Do Not Want to Love

  The more I study the Bible, the more I see that the church is to be bound by love in Christ. We as Christians are to be different from the world because we love one another unconditionally and forgive the wrongs done to us. The irony I have found is that I personally find Christians are often the hardest people to love and forgive. I should probably be ashamed to say that, but I would rather err on the side of honesty.
  Christ said that the greatest commandment is to love God with all of our being and to love our neighbors as ourselves. Because God has love me infinitely, I cannot help but want to love Him, even if it only be in my broken, human way. Loving people, on the other hand, is not overly appealing. People hurt me. This is where loving unbelievers can be easier then loving believers. Those who are not in Christ do not know what love really is. When I am injured by an unbeliever, it is not hard to shake off the pain. Oh, but when a believer hurts me, that is an offense I find hard to forgive.
  My first thought, even if the offense is unintentional (and it usually is), is, "Why would they do this to me? They are a Christian." Those wounds are the ones that pierce deep and bitter; they burn. I seem to enjoy picking at them, letting them fester into gaping furrows. For some sick reason I do not want them heal, I do not want to have to forgive. I put myself above God's command to love.
  Why do I do that? I am only hurting myself. As a child of God I am loved and forgiven. How can I not love and forgive? So there is the truth, any sweetness perceived in my nature comes from the grace of God alone, not from any goodness in me.

What I did this week

  I realize that I did not do one of these posts last week, but at least I am publishing this one on time.

  So I watched Nacho Libre for the first time on Sunday night. That is the most hilarious movie. I laughed so hard I may or may not be ashamed of myself.

  Monday night I had a soda tasting with my brothers, courtesy of my Maw-Maw, Paw-Paw, Uncle Randy, and Aunt Tonya.

 

 

  I saw these Ents in my backyard when I went running.

 

 

 

  My brother added a tarantula to our collection of animals.

 

 

  I baked some banana, chocolate-chip muffins.

 

 

And I leave you all with my all time favorite music video.

 

Until later...



When Theology is too Small

  God is big. He created the universe and it keeps spinning because of His care. Nothing surprises Him because He knows all things. He is infinite. Before the world began He was and He will continue on after life as we know it ends.
  We as men are finite: the tiniest microbes in the space of the universe. So much is beyond our grasp, there are many things we cannot begin to understand. As humans, that can scare us; the fact that we cannot understand everything, the feeling we are finite, the knowledge we really and truly have no control. Though this world is not everlasting, there are things God has created that give us an idea of what infinite is like. Anyone who has climbed mountains or bobbed around in the ocean or stared up at a sky full of stars knows what it is like to feel small.
 We want to understand the things that are too big for us though. We explore the land and the sea and space. We study what we can about these things, and they just keep getting bigger. God is like that to an infinite degree. We can read the Bible and seek Him through prayer, but the more we learn about God, the less we know. Studying about God, studying theology, is a good thing; but it is  easy to get bogged down in trying to learn theological concepts and forget about God. In trying to learn about Him, we can forget to try and know Him, we lose sight of the fact that God is personal. As Christians He is to be our purpose and our passion, not theology.
  Many times, theology pushes us away from God instead of towards Him. Facts are small, they are easy. God is huge and we cannot begin to understand him. There is a lot of mystery around God. He too big for science and human intellect. We have to come humbly to Him with the faith of child, not with the brains of a professor.
  We as Christians are called to love God with all our hearts and our neighbors as ourselves. We have been given the commission to go into the world and make disciples for Christ. God did not tell us that Calvinism is the way, the truth and the life and no man may come to Him unless they believe in the five points. Christians are not called to bicker over theology (and there are times when I would say the word bicker is an understatement). Believers are called to love one another, regardless of our differences. Yes, we need to learn theology, but we also need to be invested in the gospel first. We cannot have theological squabbles at the cost of the truth.

a moment of unity.

 

 The fountain looked innocent, even pretty, from a distance. It was pretty as they neared it as well. So they sat by it and waited for their ride. Everyone sat at the waterside, wrapped in their own worlds of conversation, completely divorced from the lives of the people they were sitting next to. The sun shone on dappled water, music drifted from the open doors of the bars lining the riverside, a breeze teased their skin.
  Then a gust came and picked up some of the water spilling over the edge of the fountain, scattering droplets over its surprised neighbors. There was a unified intake of breath and everyone's eyes sought those of a fellow human being. After that assault by water, anyone with the breath of life in them became an ally. A few made comments about the water's spray to which those around them readily agreed. And then everyone abandoned those to whom they had turned to for support just moments before. The magic of that unity passed and everyone once again became strangers.

Blackberry Picking.

  A couple days ago I went blackberry picking with these brothers of mine. Aside from the thorns and poison ivy it was a lot of fun.

What I did this Week: The Klux and Loser addition

  To those of you who read this blog, I am not perfect and my life duly reflects that. This week has in some ways been one of the worst weeks I have booked so far. In other ways it has been one of the best, most revealing weeks of my life.

  So Sunday morning I flushed a tube of toothpaste down the toilet. I do not know anyone else who has that distinction. Yes it did get fished out, much thanks to my Dad.

  Then Tuesday morning this happened. I do not usually drive like this. It was just that one morning when I was in a hurry.

  Thursday I gave up and gave in. A couple weeks ago I finished Kyle Idleman's book Not A Fan. After a year of my attempt to become a designer of sorts, I realized that was a dream I was hanging onto at the cost my ability to whole-heartedly follow Christ. So I gave it up and for the rest of the year I am going to do ministry things. It is a funny thing, but after I gave my dream up, after I became a loser of sorts, I felt free.

  Friday I went to the beach, which is my favorite place in the world.

 

 

 This week I ran twenty miles. Though I am totally stoked about that, I also go a nasty blister that turned into a bruise. I am not posting a picture of it because it looks pretty bad to any who are squeamish of stomach.

 

 



And here's a song about being the loser. 



 

Well, until later.

Modest is not the Hottest

  At some point in her life, every Christian girl has probably been told "modest is the hottest" when she wore something that did not leave enough to the imagination. The phrase "Modest is the hottest" has I nice ring to it, I will admit. After all, it does rhyme, but it is not true.
  We as girls like to be beautiful, it is a integral part of our nature. But "hot" is not beautiful. "Hot" is an incredibly sexualized term to apply to a human being. It is unflattering, it is disgusting, it is objectifying, and it is not modest.
  There are two aspects to modesty. The first is the physical side, and is by far the easiest to address. It is a simple thing to make a list of what one can and cannot wear and then run with it. But modesty is a heart issue as well. There are plenty of girls who dress modestly and act immodestly. They are trying to be "hot". This attitude stems from the lust for attention, and like all lusts, it is incredibly destructive.
  Being modest is about respecting those around us in our dress and our actions. It is about honoring the image of God we bear by not exploiting it for our own selfish desires. It is not about being "hot". Anyone can do that. But when we as women are modest both in body and in spirit, we can truly be beautiful, and beauty will always outlive "hot".